It’s one thing to hire a professional organizer and something else entirely to have an organizer show up at your door, like the interventions we see on the Hoarders TV Show. If a person is willing to get professional guidance and dutifully follow the recommendations, that is half the battle and it can set the stage for a happy outcome, with the person making a complete turn-around in their life.
But what happens when a person resists the help of a Professional Organizer, almost in direct ratio to how much they actually need their services? With this question in mind, I then began an on-line search for articles by Professional Organizers, to see if anyone had written about how they work (or decline to work with) hardcore clutterers, who do not want to change or follow any directives. How do they handle difficult or resistant clients?
So far, I have not seen any magic pills revealed, but I did find one article about how a Professional Organizer might benefit from learning how to patiently, and compassionately, work with people who have mental health challenges. Bingo. This validates something that I had been thinking about, since it does seem like those with extreme clutter are usually plagued with mental health problems as well. In other words, the clutter and procrastination do not exist in a void. If the mental health aspect is not addressed, then how can long lasting progress be made?
Many mental health issues are so stigmatized, that a person who needs help may still remain in denial or inaction out of fear of being ridiculed. This is totally obvious when it comes to the people who are featured as extreme hoarding case studies. But what about the people who can hide their clutter, with friends and co-workers unaware of how serious it is? Clutter is just a very embarrassing and visual display of the mental health issue, often rooted in depression, P.T.S.D., anxiety or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to name a few diagnoses.
Does this mean that Professional Organizers need to become social workers as well? Do they need to study psychology? Well, the answer might be “yes” for certain people, if the organizer wants to take on that kind of troubled client to begin with. Decades ago, I was in a business networking group and got to know a professional Life Coach who made a point of saying she was not a therapist. She only worked with people who were motivated and positive about coaching. In my own Feng Shui practice, I have had to turn away only a small handful of clients. In the half dozen cases, it was usually when a disturbed person was just over-the top disrespectful. In a few other instances, the client would challenge me relentlessly, comparing my recommendations to the conflicting advice they got from the internet. In those cases, I just could not work harmoniously with someone who did not have a base level of trust in me.
In the area of serious mental illness, there is a word used for those who lack insight into their illness called “anosognosia.” This lack of insight is not just an obstinate refusal to cooperate. It is actually part of the illness, one of the symptoms. For example, about half the people with schizophrenia are unaware they are even ill. In fact, it is amazing and a real testimony to family bonds when a person who does not think they are ill will agree to take prescription medication (often with unpleasant side effects), just to please a loved one who cares about their welfare.
To be clear: I am not accusing “messy” people of being mentally ill. In fact, there are some people who are so busy in their business being successful that they don’t make time to tidy up or put things away on a regular basis. Hoarding is a completely different animal and the clutter itself can keep a person from being successful, with the constant nagging piles of “stuff” almost consuming the person. All the clutter is like the rock that Sisyphus has to roll uphill for eternity.
Just short of agreeing to get therapy, for anyone reading this article with serious clutter problems and procrastination: please hear me out. Perhaps you can recognize the cause of your biggest hurdles and you can approach those issues nutritionally, if not pharmaceutically. For example: if depression is your biggest obstacle in getting motivated to declutter, perhaps you can first attempt to clean up your diet and avoid all foods which exacerbate a mood disorder. Further, there are a number of natural super-foods and nutrients you could try, before even considering actual anti-depressant medication.
Search the internet for nutritional or herbal remedies for depression or anxiety, such as Ashwagandha. A regimen of natural cures could be just enough to help you get over the slump, which has been undermining your motivation.
What if you are not really depressed or anxious? What if you have Attention Deficit Disorder instead? Maybe the prospect of decluttering is just something that seems too tedious for you to stay focused on. Perhaps you can add something natural, such as Lion’s Mane (a mushroom supplement) to help you focus. This too might be enough to help your brain get the support it needs, to stay on task without so many distractions. In fact, I feel like this is a BIG issue in decluttering, where a person who is easily distracted does not get much done even when they devote hours to it. It then becomes a dis-incentive to continue, if it seems like little progress has been made for the time commitment spent.
As a foot note: I once had a discussion with a psychiatrist who told me that A.D.D. medication has almost the exact same molecular structure as crystal meth. So, let’s try something natural and non-addictive first!
Why am I suggesting this kind of self-intervention? It is because in my experience working with Feng Shui clients who also have clutter issues, I have noticed that this behavior appears to be caused by the brain. It’s a brain problem first and foremost! Now, you could have two people who both have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it could manifest at two opposite ends of the spectrum. One person with O.C.D. might be neat as a pin and sanitize their kitchen counter many times a way. And yet, another person with O.C.D. may be buying things they don’t need and saving things they should throw away, as a completely different reaction to their brain’s interpretation of what is going on inside. How each individual may feel safe looks completely different, even with a similar cause. And, because not everyone can afford therapy or a professional organizer, you might get the ball rolling yourself with some brain and mood enhancers. Exercise can do wonders as well.
Now, I am not a licensed therapist. I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. This is just a suggestion for those with long-standing clutter and procrastination. Investigate further exactly what the barriers have been— which have kept you from making decluttering a priority. The goal is not to live like a monk in a minimalist zen monastery. The goal is to live in a balanced and nurturing environment and to even enjoy your own décor as an expression of your creativity, your travels and friendships and even your inner spiritual individuality.
Author: Kartar Diamond
Company: Feng Shui Solutions ®
From the Tao of Organizing Blog Series
