I have a friend from decades past who is a creative genius, very talented and artistic in her field of expertise. She also looks impeccable when she leaves her home, always stylish. But her home often looked like a bomb when off and in order to keep it somewhat under control, a house keeper came three times a week for many years. As this friend was raising her daughter, I saw the same syndrome of being very messy and disorganized manifesting with the young child. Like mother, like daughter.
The daughter grew up to also be a creative marketing genius, so we know that being disorganized, having A.D.D. and what not, is not a deal-breaker at all when it comes to being successful in life and personally very fulfilled. And yet, wouldn’t their lives be even better with some organizational skills under their belt? It’s a bit subjective, but I often think that creative people could at least cut down on their stress and anxiety and be even more accomplished if they had a better handle on their time and space. This same concept can be parlayed into Feng Shui as a relative experience. Sure, there are people who are very successful and happy in homes that have only average Feng Shui. But I often wonder how much better they could be doing if their Feng Shui supported them even more.
Our children pick up on our habits and traits, consciously and unconsciously. If they grow up in a home where people speak to each other with respect, they are more likely to be respectful of others. And if the child sees mom or dad functioning in an organized way, without procrastination, they cannot help but pick up on those habits! When I was in elementary school, I remember having an argument with a school-mate out on the playground about the upcoming Presidential elections and I was an avowed Democrat, just because my parents were. I was just re-iterating the same conversations I heard at home.
My mother used to make To-Do lists. I looked at them frequently as they lay on the kitchen counter. Sometimes they were general errand lists and sometimes they were grocery lists. I became a list maker as well. Making lists can reduce stress because the items are out of your head and on paper. Or nowadays, we have our computers and Apps and virtual assistants and tech-y ways to remember things.
Having a schedule, doing things in a routine, and even going to bed at the same time every night are ways to balance your own life and pass that down to your children as well. It can help them enormously with school work and setting their own goals. Making To-Do lists are just mini-goal lists and this can help children in all facets of their lives. Parents often moan about how children are not taught certain practical skills in school, like Money Management, but that may not be the job of the education system to begin with.
There are other far-reaching implications to having an organized home and how it affects the children. Not the least of which is that your child may be too embarrassed to have friends over, if the house looks like a bomb went off there. I passed judgment on many of my friends’ homes and their parents when I was young. I was uncomfortable in the homes that were TOO formal and clean, literally with ropes around the formal living room to keep the kids out. I was also uncomfortable at the homes where it was very chaotic and dirty, and I didn’t even want to eat at some of those homes!
It goes without saying that children should have chores to do around the house, all age-appropriate, some things they can get paid for to earn an allowance and some things they should do without compensation, just for the sake of being a helpful family member.
Author: Kartar Diamond
Company: Feng Shui Solutions (R) Since 1992
From the Tao of Organizing Blog Series
