Most of the organizing articles I write are meant to inspire and give tips to those who struggle with this topic. However, some people are naturally-organized, yet they have their own set of frustrations when others in their life inhibit having “the perfectly” organized home.
With each case, the naturally-organized person has to evaluate how much they can or should change their circumstances, and accepting the limitations of their situation.
Let’s say your life partner is messy and has areas of the home with all their stuff, overflowing and in disarray. Some of those cluttered spaces can be corralled into their own zones and not overtake the whole home. Turn a Blind Eye. The naturally-organized person has to decide which is more important: maintaining a relationship, accepting their spouse with this particular flaw or deal with the fall-out of being an “organizing Nazi,” which might seriously undermine or ruin the relationship.
If the messy house mate is just an acquaintance and not a spouse, lover or best friend, perhaps one of you should part ways if there are no other issues preventing an easy move out. Otherwise, a lot of tension can build up with arguments and bad feelings inevitable. No one, on either side, should feel conspicuous in their own home. It’s been a cliché that the woman in the house frets about the man leaving the toilet seat up, but I’m referring to a kind of nagging which is much more pervasive and unrelenting.
With children, you don’t want to be so overbearing with your child’s messiness, that your child believes you care more about tidiness than them as a person and family member. A child often learns or picks up habit patterns from their parents anyway, so you can lead by example, but not be too harsh with the personal space of their own bedroom. Kids don’t own much, but if their bedroom is a heaping pile of clothes and toys, there can still be creative and fun ways to inspire Clean Up Days, without humiliating your child.
We also love our pets. And while you can train a dog to put away its toys in a basket, most people don’t train their dogs to that level of obedience. One of my friends has a large dog who is a sloppy eater, so his meals are eaten outside and all is well. As neat and tidy as I am, I actually think it is cute to see some pet toys on the floor. To me, it looks like a happy, relaxed home.
If you want to have friends, family and pets and maintain a cozy home, then some of the perfectionism will have to be set aside. In fact, sometimes the naturally-organized person has their own Inner-Mess-Maker that needs to express itself sometimes. For instance, if you leave vitamin supplements on your kitchen counter (which bothers you as the naturally-organized person), don’t get into an argument with yourself (the Inner-Mess-Maker), which will keep you up at night. In other words, don’t let perfectionism turn into an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Organizing tips and practices are meant to make your life more productive and satisfying, and not to make you or the people around you miserable. Depending on where you are in your life and who you interact with, there may be limitations in manifesting your zeal for organizing systems. And that’s okay.
Author: Kartar Diamond
Company: Feng Shui Solutions ®
From the Tao of Organizing Blog Series
