Stephen Stills wrote a hit song decades ago titled “Love the One You’re With.” For any lyric, a person can interpret the words in a very unique and personal way. While one person might assume the song is about “settling” or resigning oneself to live in reality and not a fantasy, the words allude more to being open-minded enough to discover how something even better might be right in front of you.

When it comes to the house you live in, you might be constantly comparing it to other homes you’ve seen or have fantasized about. You may dream about other homes you like better and wish you lived there instead. And yet, many of us have also felt a cosmic or karmic connection to the homes we have occupied, like any other relationship we’ve engaged in. Meant to be, warts and all.

Conversely, some people love their homes and turn down the chance for a Feng Shui reading because they are afraid they will be asked to change things they don’t want to. The inspiration for this article came when I started thinking about a handful of clients over the years who have said, “Don’t tell me anything negative about my house.” Similarly, a few have said, “I love my house. I love the way it is and don’t want to change anything,” or “If you say anything is wrong with my house, I will dwell on the negative.”

Some have expressed these feelings before we even scheduled an initial meeting and some revealed those sentiments only after receiving annual update reports for many years. Because I am an introspective person, I have asked myself whether or not I project any unnecessary doom and gloom as part of my consultation style. I do think of myself as a positive practitioner, armed with resources and solutions to share with clients. In fact, when a person has lived in their house for a number of years, often what I tell them about the house’s influence is no surprise. However, I have also heard about some routinely dramatic consultants who make very exaggerated claims and cause undue stress.

For this quandary, I would like to suggest that if/when you receive any “negative” input about a part of your house, that you nurture that area like a mother who gives special attention to an ailing or troubled child. You can give more tender loving care to areas that are deemed deficient or flawed. This is in contrast to the knee-jerk reaction many people have, which is to not use a room or be afraid to use a room which does not naturally have good energy. In other words: instead of cordoning off a room with the “Evil Emperor” 5 Yellow star, you can instead pay homage to the Emperor and make the room especially lovely and comfortable.

The bottom line is that you can love every area of your home, no matter how the Feng Shui energies disburse themselves, or even in spite of the flawed zones. You can inject meditative and affirming positivity into any room or area that needs a boost. This is admittedly a more “transcendental” approach, but it can also be accompanied mechanically by any traditional remedy or adjustment such as with the use of the right element.

Assignment: Make a list of each room in your house. Write down what you like the most about each room and what you like the least. Ask yourself if it is possible to change the things you don’t like about any of the rooms. If making a change is not structurally or cosmetically possible, add or do something else to the room which you can– and which will make you happy and like the room more. Example: let’s say you rent and you are not allowed to paint. If you don’t like the color of the bathroom and can’t change the color, hang a picture in the room that you just adore and makes you feel good every time you see it. Do that with all of your rooms. My wish for you is that you love every room in your house.

Author: Kartar Diamond
Company: Feng Shui Solutions ®
From the Feng Shui Theory Blog Series